Here's the dictionary.com definition. Before I looked it up I was thinking of it as a positive or at least euphemistic term for expanding one's horizons or abilities.
Please note that it can also refer to spending time in prison, to being tortured, or to being hung.
stretch (strěch) Pronunciation Key v. stretched, stretch·ing, stretch·es v. tr.
To lengthen, widen, or distend: stretched the sweater out of shape.
To cause to extend from one place to another or across a given space: stretched the banner between two poles.
To make taut; tighten: stretched the tarpaulin until it ripped.
To reach or put forth; extend: stretched out his hand.
To extend (oneself or one's limbs, for example) to full length: stretched her calves before running.
To extend (oneself) when lying down: she stretched herself out on the couch.
To put to torture on the rack.
To extend or enlarge beyond the usual or proper limits: stretch the meaning of a word.
To subject to undue strain: to stretch one's patience.
To expand in order to fulfill a larger function: stretch a budget; stretch a paycheck.
To increase the quantity of by admixture or dilution: stretch a meal by thinning the stew.
To wrench or strain (a muscle, for example).
To extend or enlarge beyond the usual or proper limits: stretch the meaning of a word.
To subject to undue strain: to stretch one's patience.
To expand in order to fulfill a larger function: stretch a budget; stretch a paycheck.
To increase the quantity of by admixture or dilution: stretch a meal by thinning the stew.
To expand in order to fulfill a larger function: stretch a budget; stretch a paycheck.
To increase the quantity of by admixture or dilution: stretch a meal by thinning the stew.
To prolong: stretch out an argument.
Informal To fell by a blow: stretched his opponent in the first round. v. intr.
To become lengthened, widened, or distended.
To extend or reach over a distance or area or in a given direction: "On both sides of us stretched the wet plain" (Ernest Hemingway).
To lie down at full length: stretched out on the bed.
To extend one's muscles or limbs, as after prolonged sitting or on awakening.
To extend over a given period of time: "This story stretches over a whole generation" (William Golding). n.
The act of stretching or the state of being stretched.
The extent or scope to which something can be stretched; elasticity.
A continuous or unbroken length, area, or expanse: an empty stretch of highway.
A straight section of a racecourse or track, especially the section leading to the finish line.
A continuous period of time.
Slang A term of imprisonment: served a two-year stretch.
Informal The last stage of an event, period, or process.
Baseball A movement in which a pitcher, standing with the glove side facing home plate, raises both hands to the height of the head and then lowers them to the chest or waist for a short pause before pitching the ball. It is used as an alternative to a wind-up, especially when runners are on base. adj.
Made of an elastic material that stretches easily: stretch pants.
Of, relating to, or being a vehicle, such as a limousine or passenger jet, having an extended seating area that provides extra space for more passengers, leg room, or amenities. [Middle English strecchen, from Old English streccan.]
I think they also stretched their definition to its limit.
I seem to be doing a lot of stretching lately. I keep telling myself it's good for me.
I think stretching is a euphemism for when your reach exceeds your grasp (or what you keep hoping your pants will do when you start gaining some of that weight back). It is what you're supposedly doing when you apply for a job you're not sure you're qualified for and what you're doing when you get it and then try to do it well. I'm also stretching the patience of my whole family with that one.
I just bought everything I need for a "Heeere be dragone" shawl (or in this case wall hanging) for Nick. It's 16 pages of charts and it's done on a size 3 needle with lace weight yarn. I have gotten to row 21 four times now. Definitely stretching. I bought clip on magnifying glasses last night. If that doesn't work, I'm resorting to one of those lighted magnifying glasses you hang around your neck. I'll either look like a jeweler or an old lady, depending on your perspective and age.
I also signed up for 4 days of knitting workshops and classes in New Hampshire for the end of July. For some odd reason no one in my family wants to vacation there with me so I'm going on vacation alone. I've gone to conferences alone before and this is actually kind of more like a conference than like a real vacation. It has workshops and exhibits where people try to sell you their products. I should feel right at home. Heck, it even has work to do before you go, swatches to knit so you can concentrate on learning new skills while you're there (and I'm on my third try at the first one so yeah, stretching).
The message started out as "stretch your horizons", but I'm not sure that's where it ended up. I think I've also stretched this post to its limits, too, so even though I'm not sure I went anywhere significant with it, I think I will stop here.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
The Theory of Else (with an ooh and aah time codicil)
When I was in college (25 or more years ago), I had friends (male) who I baked for when I went home on weekends. I was a shameless praise hussy (still am) and my ego needed the rush of males falling over themselves to get to my brownies. Jack ascribed to what we still call "the theory of else" in our house - everything's better when it's made by someone else. My son is a strong believer in this as proven every morning when he asks "Mom, what's for breakfast?" He's perfectly capable of making his own breakfast but he enjoys it so much more when I do it and since I get something out of it (the boy is smart enough to heap effusive praise upon me), I at least occasionally give in to the pleading.
I don't necessarily buy into the whole "better when it's made by someone else" mindset though, probably because of the whole ego stroking thing that happens when I am the maker not the taker, but I was not too proud to copy the link for you when I discovered that someone else had already created an annotated bibliography of knitting fiction- Books with a knitting theme . Besides, I'm getting anyone who clicks on it to read an article from a librarian magazine and that's almost as good as getting you to read library comics.
This need for praise explains a lot about me - the success of my weight loss and the incentive to keep it off, the joy of knitting for others, and yes, even this blog. It also contributes to why I was a really good children's librarian and am still finding my way as a director. There's not as much positive overt feedback in the director gig, but that's just inspiring me to find new and exciting things to introduce.
The Theory of Else only pays off because of Ooh and Aah Time. If we praise junkies didn't need our egos stroked, nobody would get a darned thing out of us. I was raised with the phrase "ooh and aah time." It was crucial to getting any work done around our house. My mother said that if you forgot to do it, nothing else would get done for a very long time, so if a nail was hammered for a picture to hang on, we all trooped into the room and admired the artful technique and perfect positioning. Note: Criticism has to be used very sparingly and must be followed by extra heaping loads of bull... I mean, praise. Hey, it's not that I don't know when I'm being manipulated - it's that I just don't care as long as you keep it coming.
I don't necessarily buy into the whole "better when it's made by someone else" mindset though, probably because of the whole ego stroking thing that happens when I am the maker not the taker, but I was not too proud to copy the link for you when I discovered that someone else had already created an annotated bibliography of knitting fiction- Books with a knitting theme . Besides, I'm getting anyone who clicks on it to read an article from a librarian magazine and that's almost as good as getting you to read library comics.
This need for praise explains a lot about me - the success of my weight loss and the incentive to keep it off, the joy of knitting for others, and yes, even this blog. It also contributes to why I was a really good children's librarian and am still finding my way as a director. There's not as much positive overt feedback in the director gig, but that's just inspiring me to find new and exciting things to introduce.
The Theory of Else only pays off because of Ooh and Aah Time. If we praise junkies didn't need our egos stroked, nobody would get a darned thing out of us. I was raised with the phrase "ooh and aah time." It was crucial to getting any work done around our house. My mother said that if you forgot to do it, nothing else would get done for a very long time, so if a nail was hammered for a picture to hang on, we all trooped into the room and admired the artful technique and perfect positioning. Note: Criticism has to be used very sparingly and must be followed by extra heaping loads of bull... I mean, praise. Hey, it's not that I don't know when I'm being manipulated - it's that I just don't care as long as you keep it coming.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Self Soothing
When your first baby is born and you read everything there is to read about bringing up baby, this topic comes up a lot. If you're paying attention you'll soon notice that most of these techniques are orally fixated - thumbs, pacifiers, fingers - so it's no wonder many of us grow up still self soothing by sticking something into our mouths.
None of these foods are even remotely good for us, either. Have you ever heard of carrot as comfort food? I didn't think so. "Have a spinach salad, dear. It always makes me feel better." Nope, you'll never hear that one.
I just looked it up (surprise!) and found some great ideas for self soothing as a bigger person. It's about sensory experience drowning out the little voices in your head. Here are a few of the ideas, but they're mostly paraphrased from this site: psyke.org.
Walk in a beautiful place, listen to music that makes you feel good, read a book, knit (well, I don't know how they missed that one, but it works for me, so in it goes), bake bread, drink herbal tea, put whipped cream on fruit, take a bubble bath, put clean sheets on the bed, hug someone. Learn to use all of your senses to calm yourself down.
Alrighty, then, if you need me, you'll find me taking a bubble bath while listening to music, burning scented candles, drinking herbal (lemon, I think) tea, and reading a book (not a library book, though, since I'm in the tub in this scenario).
None of these foods are even remotely good for us, either. Have you ever heard of carrot as comfort food? I didn't think so. "Have a spinach salad, dear. It always makes me feel better." Nope, you'll never hear that one.
I just looked it up (surprise!) and found some great ideas for self soothing as a bigger person. It's about sensory experience drowning out the little voices in your head. Here are a few of the ideas, but they're mostly paraphrased from this site: psyke.org.
Walk in a beautiful place, listen to music that makes you feel good, read a book, knit (well, I don't know how they missed that one, but it works for me, so in it goes), bake bread, drink herbal tea, put whipped cream on fruit, take a bubble bath, put clean sheets on the bed, hug someone. Learn to use all of your senses to calm yourself down.
Alrighty, then, if you need me, you'll find me taking a bubble bath while listening to music, burning scented candles, drinking herbal (lemon, I think) tea, and reading a book (not a library book, though, since I'm in the tub in this scenario).
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Exercise for the mind
Research at the Harvard Medical School Mind/Body Institute has found that when an individual is knitting her heart rate can drop 11 beats a minute and her blood pressure drops as well.
"A growing number of medical researchers say that leisure activities that challenge the mind—like learning music, playing cards, knitting, and woodworking—can prolong healthy brain functioning. .. "In some cases, even mild forms of what we call a brain exercise have been shown to give you about six or seven additional years of cognitive ability," says Lawrence Katz, Ph.D., a professor of neurobiology at Duke University Medical Center. "
Source
There you go, I'm preserving my brain cells. Now if I could just figure out how to knit whilst exercising... maybe on the reclining bike at the gym? No, I'm not really going to try it. There are actually a few limits to the amount of ridicule I'm willing to endure. I do KIP (knit in public) and now I can even justify it. So next time you want to make fun of me for knitting at parties, remember this. We're both killing brain cells with alcohol, but I'm rebuilding mine simultaneously.
"A growing number of medical researchers say that leisure activities that challenge the mind—like learning music, playing cards, knitting, and woodworking—can prolong healthy brain functioning. .. "In some cases, even mild forms of what we call a brain exercise have been shown to give you about six or seven additional years of cognitive ability," says Lawrence Katz, Ph.D., a professor of neurobiology at Duke University Medical Center. "
Source
There you go, I'm preserving my brain cells. Now if I could just figure out how to knit whilst exercising... maybe on the reclining bike at the gym? No, I'm not really going to try it. There are actually a few limits to the amount of ridicule I'm willing to endure. I do KIP (knit in public) and now I can even justify it. So next time you want to make fun of me for knitting at parties, remember this. We're both killing brain cells with alcohol, but I'm rebuilding mine simultaneously.
WIP
Work in Progress - What a versatile phrase. It's almost as good as Pointification. It's a knitting term referring to the items on needles or waiting to be seamed, all those little and big things in life that you've got a start on but haven't gotten around to finishing yet.
I have WIPs in every aspect of my life - projects at work, around the house, and yes, at least 4 knitting projects - one that has been tucked into the back of the closet for about 3 years - it might be time to FROG that one, or finish it, even. Then there's Holly's blanket - I have decided I have time for that one (P~) and a sweater for my daughter (she says I don't work on that one near enough - it's boring). Then there's the cutest little sweater that's the one I am working on currently - I don't even know who it's for, it's just cute and working up really quickly, but I think I'm going to run out of yarn.
My children are WIPs and so is my ongoing weight battle. I made it back to the gym yesterday and I'm making myself go again today. I think I'll delay work on the house until one of the Crazy Eights (I just made that up, but they'll have trouble denying it) comes and gives me advice. I'm horrible at decorating and at knowing what looks good on me, from hairstyle to clothing style.
Fortunately, I have other talents and virtues, but I'll save those for the next time CC points out that I haven't posted in awhile.
FROGGING is the other side of the knitting process. That's when you rip out your work and either start over or use the yarn for something else entirely. Sometimes you only have to rip it back a few rows, to fix a mistake. Sometimes the whole darn thing has to go and you have to decide how badly you wanted that thing anyway. Of course, there are some mistakes that aren't big enough to bother fixing - they're so far back by the time you notice them that you figure if it took you that long to notice them, maybe you should just leave them be and learn to live with them (I take no responsibility for any marriage analogies that popped into your head).
Oh, why is it called frogging, you might ask (or not, but I'm telling you anyway). You're ripping out the mistake - rip it, rip it, rip it. There's a great picture book called Book, Book, Book, by Deborah Bruss, that tells a similar story. It's one of my favorites for reading when classes visit the library because it's about going to the library. The frog has the punchline.
So, back to philosophizing. One of the great challenges in life, of course, is deciding which WIPs to keep working on and which to frog. Who knew knitting could teach life lessons? There are two books that do a great job of making those analogies and they're good reads, too. One is The Friday Night Knitting Club, by Kate Jacobs, and the other is The Knitting Circle: a Novel, by Ann Hood. They're both feel good, circle of life, chick lit sorts of books, the kind I would recommend for my book club.
Hmmm, I think my next post should be an annotated bibliography of knitting novels. That should make your eyes cross.
I have WIPs in every aspect of my life - projects at work, around the house, and yes, at least 4 knitting projects - one that has been tucked into the back of the closet for about 3 years - it might be time to FROG that one, or finish it, even. Then there's Holly's blanket - I have decided I have time for that one (P~) and a sweater for my daughter (she says I don't work on that one near enough - it's boring). Then there's the cutest little sweater that's the one I am working on currently - I don't even know who it's for, it's just cute and working up really quickly, but I think I'm going to run out of yarn.
My children are WIPs and so is my ongoing weight battle. I made it back to the gym yesterday and I'm making myself go again today. I think I'll delay work on the house until one of the Crazy Eights (I just made that up, but they'll have trouble denying it) comes and gives me advice. I'm horrible at decorating and at knowing what looks good on me, from hairstyle to clothing style.
Fortunately, I have other talents and virtues, but I'll save those for the next time CC points out that I haven't posted in awhile.
FROGGING is the other side of the knitting process. That's when you rip out your work and either start over or use the yarn for something else entirely. Sometimes you only have to rip it back a few rows, to fix a mistake. Sometimes the whole darn thing has to go and you have to decide how badly you wanted that thing anyway. Of course, there are some mistakes that aren't big enough to bother fixing - they're so far back by the time you notice them that you figure if it took you that long to notice them, maybe you should just leave them be and learn to live with them (I take no responsibility for any marriage analogies that popped into your head).
Oh, why is it called frogging, you might ask (or not, but I'm telling you anyway). You're ripping out the mistake - rip it, rip it, rip it. There's a great picture book called Book, Book, Book, by Deborah Bruss, that tells a similar story. It's one of my favorites for reading when classes visit the library because it's about going to the library. The frog has the punchline.
So, back to philosophizing. One of the great challenges in life, of course, is deciding which WIPs to keep working on and which to frog. Who knew knitting could teach life lessons? There are two books that do a great job of making those analogies and they're good reads, too. One is The Friday Night Knitting Club, by Kate Jacobs, and the other is The Knitting Circle: a Novel, by Ann Hood. They're both feel good, circle of life, chick lit sorts of books, the kind I would recommend for my book club.
Hmmm, I think my next post should be an annotated bibliography of knitting novels. That should make your eyes cross.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Okay, Now!
Are these not the cutest? And the kids are pretty adorable, too.And the baby can come now. I know the child was just waiting for my package to arrive. I'm just relieved it got there in four days. Amazing.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Gotta Gator?
I do! But not for long. This gator is flying to England tomorrow, by hook or by crook. I won't wish having the gator arrive before the baby on poor Stephanie, but I do want it to get there relatively soon so she can use it!
I see it as first a nursing pillow, then a baby support boppy sort of thing and finally a body pillow. The original pattern is the Morehouse Merino alligator scarf, but I took a lot of liberties with it.
For those knitting afficionados who like details, he's 42 inches long, stuffed with a stocking which was, in turn, stuffed with pillow stuffing, and has cat toy eyeballs. The eyes and legs are stuffed with stockings so they can be washed. The mouth is a braided cotton cord that can be undone so the big stocking (which looks like a worm, I swear!) can be removed. I used Lionbrand Wool-Ease Chunky and size 10 needles for the green part and two strands of a worsted weight for the tummy. I wanted to make the legs bend so I tried several sock patterns, thinking the heel would turn into a knee, but I couldn't make it work. For those who are more concerned about alligator accuracy than knitting, please let me assure you that this one has 4 claws on the back legs and five on the front and that the 4th lower tooth on each side should be hidden. I'm betting that if it really bothers them, Jason can, and will, fix it! I expect Stephanie will be busy with the baby. Stephanie will be relieved to know that I'm not sending Jesse, Alligator Wrestler Extraordinaire.Thursday, December 20, 2007
Canticipation
This could just as easily be called "can't keep a secret." I'm just not good at waiting.
I know people who are perfectly capable of making the perfect purchase in July and waiting patiently until Christmas to present the present. I'm not one of them. When I find THE gift for the giftless I want to dance and prance and crow and get it immediately into the hands of the person so they can share my joy.
This is why I end up empty handed at Christmas. It's also why I have trouble understanding how all of these knitting bloggers can find things to talk about every day on their blogs. Aren't they committing precisely the faux pas of which I speak or don't any of the people they knit for actually read their blogs? I'm sitting here with my knitting in my lap (so I have something to do while I'm composing, doncha know) and it's all I can do not to tell you all about the perfect gift for a cajun baby.
Fortunately, Holly has her tree of life throw pillow already. I was her not so secret elf (it's hard to keep it a secret when you're the only one in the group who knits and the books might have been a rather strong hint as well, but what do you want from a librarian?) and since I"m making her a Lionbrand Nature in Natural afghan, it seemed like a perfect opportunity to make her a pillow to go with it. I used the free pattern for the tree of life sweater. In case anyone ever needs to know this, the tree of life section is the perfect size for a 10x10 inch square pillow form. I'm thinking of making myself the other Lionbrand tree of life afghan. Either that or I'm going to use the same technique they use to make myself a Great American Afghan without having to sew squares together. Not only am I avoiding swatching until I find a creative and original use for all those swatches, but I'm also constantly in search of ways to avoid sewing things together.
I may have to break down and take a class on it so I can feel more confident about it. That would open a lot of patterns up for consideration that I am assiduously avoiding in the meantime.
I know people who are perfectly capable of making the perfect purchase in July and waiting patiently until Christmas to present the present. I'm not one of them. When I find THE gift for the giftless I want to dance and prance and crow and get it immediately into the hands of the person so they can share my joy.
This is why I end up empty handed at Christmas. It's also why I have trouble understanding how all of these knitting bloggers can find things to talk about every day on their blogs. Aren't they committing precisely the faux pas of which I speak or don't any of the people they knit for actually read their blogs? I'm sitting here with my knitting in my lap (so I have something to do while I'm composing, doncha know) and it's all I can do not to tell you all about the perfect gift for a cajun baby.
Fortunately, Holly has her tree of life throw pillow already. I was her not so secret elf (it's hard to keep it a secret when you're the only one in the group who knits and the books might have been a rather strong hint as well, but what do you want from a librarian?) and since I"m making her a Lionbrand Nature in Natural afghan, it seemed like a perfect opportunity to make her a pillow to go with it. I used the free pattern for the tree of life sweater. In case anyone ever needs to know this, the tree of life section is the perfect size for a 10x10 inch square pillow form. I'm thinking of making myself the other Lionbrand tree of life afghan. Either that or I'm going to use the same technique they use to make myself a Great American Afghan without having to sew squares together. Not only am I avoiding swatching until I find a creative and original use for all those swatches, but I'm also constantly in search of ways to avoid sewing things together.
I may have to break down and take a class on it so I can feel more confident about it. That would open a lot of patterns up for consideration that I am assiduously avoiding in the meantime.
Monday, December 03, 2007
To Do List
Number one should be: Figure out what to put ON the to do list. It feels like things would all fall into place if I just knew what I had to do to accomplish it all. Actually, it should be more like an outline for a paper entitled
I. Get on Track with Diet and Exercise.
A. Go to Gym 4 days a week.
B. USE WW tools and follow the plan.
II. Get on Track with the Library
A. Hire a Great Youth Services Librarian
B. Make Change slooowly.
It's not the big bulletin items I have trouble putting into words or even into action. It's life's little details I keep stumbling over - the chocolate ice cream cake in the freezer that somebody has to eat. I know, why does somebody have to eat it? The birthday party's over. Ditch the cake. Sounds so easy when I tell someone else to do it, but even though no one else in the house will eat it, everybody else in the house will have something to say about me throwing away a perfectly good cake. Whoa. Epiphany happening. This is exactly the same problem I am having at work.
It's all the second guessers that are the stumbling block. In both places, my challenge in life is to get a whole group of people to buy into my plans and the way to do that is to make it our plans. Sounds wonderful. How the heck do I make it happen?
Note: If you were hoping for the answer to appear next, you're out of luck. Sometimes the only way to do it is to just start doing something and go from there. Baby steps. Sounds great, so why is my gut reaction (pun intended) to eat the rest of the cake so it won't be there to sabotage me tomorrow?
And in the meantime, one still has to shovel the end of the driveway because the snowplow came through and decide whether or not the two hour school delay means one should delay the opening of the library as well whilst ensuring that one arrives early enough one's self to salt and shovel the pathways to the library door, both for the staff and the patrons, and get the teen to school on time, and still plan things like a point friendly packed lunch. Then there's the staff member who is probably panicking right about now because her two part time jobs are going to run into each other because of the school delay, which means I should plan on doing her story time this morning and there's the other teen who is staying home sick today and oh yes, there's knitting tonight.
No wonder I have trouble with the big picture.
Life of Gonad
A. Go to Gym 4 days a week.
B. USE WW tools and follow the plan.
II. Get on Track with the Library
A. Hire a Great Youth Services Librarian
B. Make Change slooowly.
It's not the big bulletin items I have trouble putting into words or even into action. It's life's little details I keep stumbling over - the chocolate ice cream cake in the freezer that somebody has to eat. I know, why does somebody have to eat it? The birthday party's over. Ditch the cake. Sounds so easy when I tell someone else to do it, but even though no one else in the house will eat it, everybody else in the house will have something to say about me throwing away a perfectly good cake. Whoa. Epiphany happening. This is exactly the same problem I am having at work.
It's all the second guessers that are the stumbling block. In both places, my challenge in life is to get a whole group of people to buy into my plans and the way to do that is to make it our plans. Sounds wonderful. How the heck do I make it happen?
Note: If you were hoping for the answer to appear next, you're out of luck. Sometimes the only way to do it is to just start doing something and go from there. Baby steps. Sounds great, so why is my gut reaction (pun intended) to eat the rest of the cake so it won't be there to sabotage me tomorrow?
And in the meantime, one still has to shovel the end of the driveway because the snowplow came through and decide whether or not the two hour school delay means one should delay the opening of the library as well whilst ensuring that one arrives early enough one's self to salt and shovel the pathways to the library door, both for the staff and the patrons, and get the teen to school on time, and still plan things like a point friendly packed lunch. Then there's the staff member who is probably panicking right about now because her two part time jobs are going to run into each other because of the school delay, which means I should plan on doing her story time this morning and there's the other teen who is staying home sick today and oh yes, there's knitting tonight.
No wonder I have trouble with the big picture.
Friday, October 26, 2007
The librarian never rests
I'm at home.Brrring. Brrrring. "Hello."
"Hi is Mary there?"
"I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number."Brrring.
"Hello."
"Hi, is Mary there?"
"What number are you dialing, hon?"
"Insert my phone #."
"I'm sorry, hon, you must have the wrong number because there's no Mary here."
Chat with mom for awhile, then Brrrring.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Mary Smith's number."
"No, this is Mrs. Librarian's number, but wait, I can give you Mary's number."
"Oh, is this Mrs. Librarian?"
"Yes it is."
"Hiiiii."
"Okay, here you go XXX-XXXX."
"Thank you, Mrs. Librarian."
"You're welcome, hon."
It's really not that small a town.
"Mary" is my son's best friend's little sister. I'm left wondering how my number wound up next to Mary's name somewhere.
The town I grew up in is that small. When we were really little, we still had an operator who would connect you. My sister once picked up the phone at about age 2 and said "Hello," and a voice said "Suzanne Thompson (name changed to protect the guilty), hang up that phone right now." Scared her half to death. My Godmother was the operator.
If you dial the wrong number in Berne, the person who answers will be your 4th cousin twice removed and will probably recognize your voice.
"Hi is Mary there?"
"I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number."Brrring.
"Hello."
"Hi, is Mary there?"
"What number are you dialing, hon?"
"Insert my phone #."
"I'm sorry, hon, you must have the wrong number because there's no Mary here."
Chat with mom for awhile, then Brrrring.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Mary Smith's number."
"No, this is Mrs. Librarian's number, but wait, I can give you Mary's number."
"Oh, is this Mrs. Librarian?"
"Yes it is."
"Hiiiii."
"Okay, here you go XXX-XXXX."
"Thank you, Mrs. Librarian."
"You're welcome, hon."
It's really not that small a town.
"Mary" is my son's best friend's little sister. I'm left wondering how my number wound up next to Mary's name somewhere.
The town I grew up in is that small. When we were really little, we still had an operator who would connect you. My sister once picked up the phone at about age 2 and said "Hello," and a voice said "Suzanne Thompson (name changed to protect the guilty), hang up that phone right now." Scared her half to death. My Godmother was the operator.
If you dial the wrong number in Berne, the person who answers will be your 4th cousin twice removed and will probably recognize your voice.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Use the whole book or find a different one
I originally posted this on a librarian list, but it is relevent to my Idealism post from last year and expresses my feelings about the whole topic a little bit more clearly, if not necessarily more eloquently.
Two parents brought me books this week that their 11th grade sons are reading in English. One is on a "pick one of these 5 books" list, the other is required reading for the class. The first book is Water for Elephants. The second is Memoirs of a Geisha. Both have pretty explicit sex scenes. They wanted my opinion. Both parents were told by the school that the principal has read the books and approved them, that they have been approved by the school board, and that they are college level courses that therefore have more mature themes.
I had a similar issue with my own son last year with Ragtime, and I told both parents the same thing I told the teacher at the time. My problem isn't with the scenes in the book. My problem is that they admit outright that they don't discuss them. Um, in college they would. They'd talk about exploitation of women, both historically and today. They'd talk about how the language used pulls the reader out of the scene (the use of anatomically correct words in the middle of a striptease) to become a more critical observor of what's happening in it. Instead, they pretend the scenes don't exist and don't help the students deal with any emotions that might be evoked (like the teen who went home and told his parents he'd been learning about the meaninglessness of life (The French Lieutenant's Woman) and was now trying to figure out a painless way of ending it all).
What a great opportunity to have a school counselor come in and discuss the fact that things in books and the news can trigger emotions that can be confusing and talk about ways to deal with all of that. Instead, they just moved on to another book, totally oblivious to the impact that book had had upon this young man. I'm certainly NOT saying that they shouldn't have read that book. If they hadn't, the boy might not have gone to his parents in time to get help. But what about all the students who don't know where to turn when these things happen?
I don't want those parents to demand that the books be removed from the curriculum. I want them to demand that they be used to teach and discuss and open minds. Rather than hoping that most parents won't bother to read the books, I'd like to see the school invite the parents to be part of a book discussion held some evening so that they can see that the books do have something to offer besides lurid sex scenes.
I also told both parents that if the schools aren't discussing those scenes with their children (and they aren't - they tell them to turn the page if something disturbs them), they should do so themselves. What a great opportunity to share your own morals and outrage and sadness, etc., in a nonconfrontational, nonpersonal setting.
Two parents brought me books this week that their 11th grade sons are reading in English. One is on a "pick one of these 5 books" list, the other is required reading for the class. The first book is Water for Elephants. The second is Memoirs of a Geisha. Both have pretty explicit sex scenes. They wanted my opinion. Both parents were told by the school that the principal has read the books and approved them, that they have been approved by the school board, and that they are college level courses that therefore have more mature themes.
I had a similar issue with my own son last year with Ragtime, and I told both parents the same thing I told the teacher at the time. My problem isn't with the scenes in the book. My problem is that they admit outright that they don't discuss them. Um, in college they would. They'd talk about exploitation of women, both historically and today. They'd talk about how the language used pulls the reader out of the scene (the use of anatomically correct words in the middle of a striptease) to become a more critical observor of what's happening in it. Instead, they pretend the scenes don't exist and don't help the students deal with any emotions that might be evoked (like the teen who went home and told his parents he'd been learning about the meaninglessness of life (The French Lieutenant's Woman) and was now trying to figure out a painless way of ending it all).
What a great opportunity to have a school counselor come in and discuss the fact that things in books and the news can trigger emotions that can be confusing and talk about ways to deal with all of that. Instead, they just moved on to another book, totally oblivious to the impact that book had had upon this young man. I'm certainly NOT saying that they shouldn't have read that book. If they hadn't, the boy might not have gone to his parents in time to get help. But what about all the students who don't know where to turn when these things happen?
I don't want those parents to demand that the books be removed from the curriculum. I want them to demand that they be used to teach and discuss and open minds. Rather than hoping that most parents won't bother to read the books, I'd like to see the school invite the parents to be part of a book discussion held some evening so that they can see that the books do have something to offer besides lurid sex scenes.
I also told both parents that if the schools aren't discussing those scenes with their children (and they aren't - they tell them to turn the page if something disturbs them), they should do so themselves. What a great opportunity to share your own morals and outrage and sadness, etc., in a nonconfrontational, nonpersonal setting.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Knit Bits
I have to thank my friends for having lives and doing things like having babies and falling in love (not necessarily in that order). It gives me this lovely excuse for knitting adorable little baby things and lavish afghans. I probably come across as the most conceited thing alive when I show off my finished objects, but the truth of the matter is that I'm in awe of the designers who are cabable of creating and describing patterns that actually wind up looking okay when I'm finished with them. These are baby GG's presents (model not included). I really did try to lighten it up. I apparently had a foot fetish going here. Baby K has a plethora of hats. Who knows what I'll get stuck on with baby X. 
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Life and Death
Thursday was one of those classic life cycle days - a beautiful new baby (welcome, Georgia) came into the world and a very special friend (goodbye, Melanie) left it.
This loss was very hard, partly because it was sudden and unexpected, partly because she was only 45. I only saw her 3 or 4 times a year, but we always saved each other seats at our library meetings, and knit together.
I think she would have been annoyed by the timing. I can picture her standing in front of St. Peter, calmly pointing out that it was the middle of her summer reading program and did he realize the party was next week, and that she has 3 boys to send off to college this month, and she really wanted to finish just one more preemie hat. It's yet another thing that makes me doubt St. Peter's existence, because I can't imagine him standing firm in the face of Melanie's conviction that she should be returned immediately, especially if there were dirty dishes in the sink (although I bet there weren't).
I keep feeling like I should be able to call her and talk about the silly mistake they made.
I'll miss you, Melanie. Save me a seat.
This loss was very hard, partly because it was sudden and unexpected, partly because she was only 45. I only saw her 3 or 4 times a year, but we always saved each other seats at our library meetings, and knit together.
I think she would have been annoyed by the timing. I can picture her standing in front of St. Peter, calmly pointing out that it was the middle of her summer reading program and did he realize the party was next week, and that she has 3 boys to send off to college this month, and she really wanted to finish just one more preemie hat. It's yet another thing that makes me doubt St. Peter's existence, because I can't imagine him standing firm in the face of Melanie's conviction that she should be returned immediately, especially if there were dirty dishes in the sink (although I bet there weren't).
I keep feeling like I should be able to call her and talk about the silly mistake they made.
I'll miss you, Melanie. Save me a seat.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Books for Babies
A friend asked for a list of books for babies and since I recently attended 2 workshops on Creating Readers, I want to share some of the things that were brought up there. I'm sure I'll be adding to the list. This is just what I came up with so far.
Board books and bath books are perfect for babies. Babies explore books with their whole bodies. They hear you say the words, they see the pictures, they touch the pages and they chew on them. Touch and feel books are wonderful, but you have to choose them carefully. Pat the Bunny is actually a pretty poor choice because the little blanket can come off and become a choking hazard. Look at the book carefully to make sure the corners are rounded because baby will inevitable smack herself in the face with it and you want to protect her eyes. A good board book for babies has one bright/high contrast picture on each page.
I prefer the large board book version of Goodnight Moon, by Margaret Wise Brown because the colors just seem brighter and bolder. It will also hold up to a lot of readings. If you get a baby a pop-up book, let the mom know that it should be put away for at least 3 years and even then it should be a "let's look at this together," book. My favorite for this purpose is David Carter's If you're happy and you know it. I use it at every story time, along with The Wheels on the Bus by Paul Zelinsky. Some other personal favorites include: The Baby Goes Beep, by Rebecca O'Connell and We've all got bellybuttons, by David Martin.
I personally think it would be way cool to make a ritual of giving a Robert Sabuda pop up book for every birthday or holiday because they're gorgeous, but they're really not appropriate until about 5 or 6.
Here is the New York Public Library's list of 100 picture books everyone should know:
http://kids.nypl.org/reading/recommended2.cfm?ListID=61
Hoban's board books with the simple black and white pictures are perfect. So are books with photos of babies.
Black on White (Board book) by Tana Hoban
Baby Einstein: Water, Water Everywhere: A Splash & Giggle Bath Book (Baby Einstein) (Bath Book) .
Sandra Boynton's board books are delightful and funny, as are the Pigeon books (Don't let the pigeon drive the bus and The Pigeon finds a hotdog are my favorites) by Mo Willems. Doreen Cronin's books are very funny (Click Clack Moo and Diary of a worm).
I would also get something along these lines: http://www.baby-wise.com/popup_image.php?pID=112, and put in a picture of yourself.
Since this is my diatribe, I'm telling you all now, I don't like The Giving Tree (selfish boy takes everything the tree has to give until he uses it all up), Rainbow Fish (it's not okay to be different and you can buy friends), or Love You Forever (mother crawls in through adult son's window to rock him - smother love, anyone?).
Board books and bath books are perfect for babies. Babies explore books with their whole bodies. They hear you say the words, they see the pictures, they touch the pages and they chew on them. Touch and feel books are wonderful, but you have to choose them carefully. Pat the Bunny is actually a pretty poor choice because the little blanket can come off and become a choking hazard. Look at the book carefully to make sure the corners are rounded because baby will inevitable smack herself in the face with it and you want to protect her eyes. A good board book for babies has one bright/high contrast picture on each page.
I prefer the large board book version of Goodnight Moon, by Margaret Wise Brown because the colors just seem brighter and bolder. It will also hold up to a lot of readings. If you get a baby a pop-up book, let the mom know that it should be put away for at least 3 years and even then it should be a "let's look at this together," book. My favorite for this purpose is David Carter's If you're happy and you know it. I use it at every story time, along with The Wheels on the Bus by Paul Zelinsky. Some other personal favorites include: The Baby Goes Beep, by Rebecca O'Connell and We've all got bellybuttons, by David Martin.
I personally think it would be way cool to make a ritual of giving a Robert Sabuda pop up book for every birthday or holiday because they're gorgeous, but they're really not appropriate until about 5 or 6.
Here is the New York Public Library's list of 100 picture books everyone should know:
http://kids.nypl.org/reading/recommended2.cfm?ListID=61
Hoban's board books with the simple black and white pictures are perfect. So are books with photos of babies.
Black on White (Board book) by Tana Hoban
Baby Einstein: Water, Water Everywhere: A Splash & Giggle Bath Book (Baby Einstein) (Bath Book) .
Sandra Boynton's board books are delightful and funny, as are the Pigeon books (Don't let the pigeon drive the bus and The Pigeon finds a hotdog are my favorites) by Mo Willems. Doreen Cronin's books are very funny (Click Clack Moo and Diary of a worm).
I would also get something along these lines: http://www.baby-wise.com/popup_image.php?pID=112, and put in a picture of yourself.
Since this is my diatribe, I'm telling you all now, I don't like The Giving Tree (selfish boy takes everything the tree has to give until he uses it all up), Rainbow Fish (it's not okay to be different and you can buy friends), or Love You Forever (mother crawls in through adult son's window to rock him - smother love, anyone?).
Thursday, October 05, 2006
When Idealism meets Reality
I have always been a strong supporter of teachers taking risks in their book selections. I sincerely believe that hiding reality from students is a big mistake and that it's better for them to have the opportunity to discuss hard topics in a safe environment and in the abstract. While it is my wish for them that they never actually have to deal with things like incest, date rape, or suicide in their real lives, I think they are better prepared for those things if they have met up with them in a book and have had an opportunity to talk through different ways of handling traumatic experiences.
I also "know" that fiction allows students to explore the philosophies and views of different historical time periods in context and when the different departments work together, suddenly the books you're reading in English make sense when put together with what was happening at that same time in history and it all becomes more meaningful.
That's all great in the abstract.
It suddenly takes on a whole new slant when a 16 year old comes to you and says his life is meaningless and has no purpose and the only reason he's still alive is that he's pretty sure suicide would hurt. During the three hours spent in the emergency room waiting for a psych eval he then reveals to his father that they have been studying existentialism and suicide in The French Lieutenant's Woman and it "got him thinking about the futility of it all."
Do I think the book caused the boy's depression? No, I don't really think depression works that way. I do, however, believe that teachers need to consider the emotional state of adolescents when making their choices. I'm not even saying don't read a particular book because of the issues. I am saying it's crucial to anticipate the possible reactions of the students and discuss them during class, not just leave them wallowing in despair. Say it right out loud: "This book might leave you feeling sad and depressed because it hits a nerve. Here are some people you can talk to: the teacher, the school counselor, your pastor, your parents."
When a teen suicide becomes public knowledge, parents and teachers become more alert to the signs and symptoms of suicidal ideation in the school population, knowing that the "success" of one student can act as a trigger for others. It suddenly becomes real and possible and those who are vulnerable to the idea may start talking about it or even try it. Does this mean you should try to keep students from finding out or talking about what happened? Of course not. It means that you have to be very aware of the possible fall out so you can identify the students who need help and get it for them.
We need to remember that books can be an equally powerful catalyst for action. When students read about rape or incest or suicide in books, they can find the courage within themselves to speak out, to ask for help, to believe that they, too, can overcome their obstacles. Parents, teachers, and counselors need to work together so that they can be aware and ready for the possible fall out because sometimes the cry for help is expressed in a very scary and negative way - "If I weren't afraid it would hurt, I would have killed myself already." It's easy to say "They should never have read that horrible book," but if they hadn't, he might not have asked for help in time. The pivotal event might have been something so personal and immediate that he wouldn't have had the time or the rationality to walk down those stairs and say "I can't get these thoughts out of my head and I'm scared."
I also "know" that fiction allows students to explore the philosophies and views of different historical time periods in context and when the different departments work together, suddenly the books you're reading in English make sense when put together with what was happening at that same time in history and it all becomes more meaningful.
That's all great in the abstract.
It suddenly takes on a whole new slant when a 16 year old comes to you and says his life is meaningless and has no purpose and the only reason he's still alive is that he's pretty sure suicide would hurt. During the three hours spent in the emergency room waiting for a psych eval he then reveals to his father that they have been studying existentialism and suicide in The French Lieutenant's Woman and it "got him thinking about the futility of it all."
Do I think the book caused the boy's depression? No, I don't really think depression works that way. I do, however, believe that teachers need to consider the emotional state of adolescents when making their choices. I'm not even saying don't read a particular book because of the issues. I am saying it's crucial to anticipate the possible reactions of the students and discuss them during class, not just leave them wallowing in despair. Say it right out loud: "This book might leave you feeling sad and depressed because it hits a nerve. Here are some people you can talk to: the teacher, the school counselor, your pastor, your parents."
When a teen suicide becomes public knowledge, parents and teachers become more alert to the signs and symptoms of suicidal ideation in the school population, knowing that the "success" of one student can act as a trigger for others. It suddenly becomes real and possible and those who are vulnerable to the idea may start talking about it or even try it. Does this mean you should try to keep students from finding out or talking about what happened? Of course not. It means that you have to be very aware of the possible fall out so you can identify the students who need help and get it for them.
We need to remember that books can be an equally powerful catalyst for action. When students read about rape or incest or suicide in books, they can find the courage within themselves to speak out, to ask for help, to believe that they, too, can overcome their obstacles. Parents, teachers, and counselors need to work together so that they can be aware and ready for the possible fall out because sometimes the cry for help is expressed in a very scary and negative way - "If I weren't afraid it would hurt, I would have killed myself already." It's easy to say "They should never have read that horrible book," but if they hadn't, he might not have asked for help in time. The pivotal event might have been something so personal and immediate that he wouldn't have had the time or the rationality to walk down those stairs and say "I can't get these thoughts out of my head and I'm scared."
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Cliques, Gangs, and Groups
It bothers me every time someone on the WW board plays the clique card and I started thinking about why I take it personally. Part of it is because I am an individual and while I have made wonderful friends on the 50+ Board, I am not afraid to disagree with them and I certainly wouldn't "attack" another poster on their say so. I will speak up if I see someone being treated unfairly, no matter who they are (including my friends - it would be weird to exclude them).
I was mostly a loner as a child and teen. I had friends, but I didn't belong to a group. I wasn't a music or a jock or a cheerleader or a druggie. I was smart but I didn't have the grades to be one of the brains. It was a small school. That was pretty much all the choices available. I was an "other."
In ninth grade, they made us read the short story "The Lottery." I think it's one of those things they make you read so you will think about the consequences of giving in to peer pressure. I just want my ninth grade English teacher to know that it worked! I fear mob mentality enough to keep me constantly on the edge of large groups. I want to make sure I can escape quickly if they turn ugly. As soon as things seem to be heading that way, I get uncomfortable.
That's why I really object when anyone implies that I belong to a gang on the 50+ Board.
I was mostly a loner as a child and teen. I had friends, but I didn't belong to a group. I wasn't a music or a jock or a cheerleader or a druggie. I was smart but I didn't have the grades to be one of the brains. It was a small school. That was pretty much all the choices available. I was an "other."
In ninth grade, they made us read the short story "The Lottery." I think it's one of those things they make you read so you will think about the consequences of giving in to peer pressure. I just want my ninth grade English teacher to know that it worked! I fear mob mentality enough to keep me constantly on the edge of large groups. I want to make sure I can escape quickly if they turn ugly. As soon as things seem to be heading that way, I get uncomfortable.
That's why I really object when anyone implies that I belong to a gang on the 50+ Board.
Guys and Gals in Groups
The first of two commentaries about groups. I've known for years that men and women behave differently at the work place as well as at home. The women I have worked with formed closer friendships than the males, but were also more likely to have major emotional scenes. We talk about each other, complain about each other, and tend to tell our grievances to everybody in the building except the person with whom we are having a problem. This is why my husband refers to women in the work place as "cats in a bag." Don't worry, I smack him.
Men seem to take things less personally and I have never heard one say that his feelings were hurt by another one or that this or that one is always leaving things on his desk or eating his crackers or stealing his pens.
My next observation is about men doing things like changing tires or working out. Have you ever witnessed this phenomenon? 3 men hover around the car. The fourth changes the tire while the other 3 watch and critique his performance, often whilst holding beers. If someone watching me change a tire had the temerity to offer criticism, I'd shove the tire iron where the sun doesn't shine, but men seem to enjoy this behavior. This is where my flash of insight came into the picture. This is why they don't implode at work, either!
I recently joined a gym. This is a unique opportunity for me to observe the behavior of the male animal in what used to be his own habitat. Like many other male hang outs, this one has been encroached upon by the female of the species. I discovered that men lift weights the same way they change tires, just minus the beer! One lifts while the other 2 or 3 stand there and watch and comment on his technique or talk about sports or their wives.
I concentrate on my weight lifting, enjoying the whole process of making my muscles stronger, then I take my shower, and go to work. I love hanging out with my friends. I go shopping, sit and knit, go to book discussion groups, or just sit around and drink wine, but I don't want them at the gym with me.
Men seem to take things less personally and I have never heard one say that his feelings were hurt by another one or that this or that one is always leaving things on his desk or eating his crackers or stealing his pens.
My next observation is about men doing things like changing tires or working out. Have you ever witnessed this phenomenon? 3 men hover around the car. The fourth changes the tire while the other 3 watch and critique his performance, often whilst holding beers. If someone watching me change a tire had the temerity to offer criticism, I'd shove the tire iron where the sun doesn't shine, but men seem to enjoy this behavior. This is where my flash of insight came into the picture. This is why they don't implode at work, either!
I recently joined a gym. This is a unique opportunity for me to observe the behavior of the male animal in what used to be his own habitat. Like many other male hang outs, this one has been encroached upon by the female of the species. I discovered that men lift weights the same way they change tires, just minus the beer! One lifts while the other 2 or 3 stand there and watch and comment on his technique or talk about sports or their wives.
I concentrate on my weight lifting, enjoying the whole process of making my muscles stronger, then I take my shower, and go to work. I love hanging out with my friends. I go shopping, sit and knit, go to book discussion groups, or just sit around and drink wine, but I don't want them at the gym with me.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Are there Cliques on the Board?
Yet another post from the 50+ Board. At least now we can just refer people here.
The clique card has been played before and I still say it's more about the board personality that has developed over time. Some of us (koff - mom) are more diplomatic than others (koff koff - Cat). Yes, over time friendships (and enemyships) strengthen and grow and we make jokes and refer to things that happened in a past you weren't here for. But we did not all get here at the same time and there are a number of different groups of friends and posters who get along with everybody as well as those who get along with nobody.
When I got here in April of 2005, I didn't KNOW anybody here. I read several different groups, went back through days of threads following the conversations and topics and contributed something here and there and eventually someone responded to something I had said (you would not believe how many threads I KILLED first), then someone else commented on my awesome progress, then I joined a challenge, and over time (we're talking about 6-9 MONTHS) I became a familiar name and developed some friendships that I will always cherish.
When you've been reading here for awhile, you start to feel like you really KNOW the posters and you may think this one is really arrogant or that one is incredibly funny, or wow, that one is just so simpatico, and you want to join in. Do it, but remember that the person you are responding to so warmly and familiarly doesn't know you from Jack - yet. She might very well verbally recoil or rebuff you in the same way she would if a total stranger ran up to her in the street and hugged her. We need time to get to know you, too.
The clique card has been played before and I still say it's more about the board personality that has developed over time. Some of us (koff - mom) are more diplomatic than others (koff koff - Cat). Yes, over time friendships (and enemyships) strengthen and grow and we make jokes and refer to things that happened in a past you weren't here for. But we did not all get here at the same time and there are a number of different groups of friends and posters who get along with everybody as well as those who get along with nobody.
When I got here in April of 2005, I didn't KNOW anybody here. I read several different groups, went back through days of threads following the conversations and topics and contributed something here and there and eventually someone responded to something I had said (you would not believe how many threads I KILLED first), then someone else commented on my awesome progress, then I joined a challenge, and over time (we're talking about 6-9 MONTHS) I became a familiar name and developed some friendships that I will always cherish.
When you've been reading here for awhile, you start to feel like you really KNOW the posters and you may think this one is really arrogant or that one is incredibly funny, or wow, that one is just so simpatico, and you want to join in. Do it, but remember that the person you are responding to so warmly and familiarly doesn't know you from Jack - yet. She might very well verbally recoil or rebuff you in the same way she would if a total stranger ran up to her in the street and hugged her. We need time to get to know you, too.
My Soapbox
This is also teleported in from the 50+ Board. There are things that come up a LOT. When someone posts a question that violates the WW terms of agreement (points questions, for example) or that asks about the virtues of Hoodia or some other weight loss program, the responses are often fast and furious. The OP (Original Poster) then gets her feelings hurt and accuses the people on the board of being members of a clique. This was my answer to that.
I actually do think it is smart to read posts and hang out and get the lay of the land before jumping in with both feet in your mouth. Each board has a personality of its own in the same way each class a teacher has develops its own persona. Whenever you have a group of individuals coalescing, you will have a new and different dynamic.
But let's say you have been reading the posts, you learned how to use the search button, you never, ever type the word save all by itself in a post, you've read the sites recommended by Cyndi, and one late night after a few drinks, you decide to post. You were tired, you were drinking, and sure enough, 20 people in the same boat jump all down your stuff within 2 minutes of your post.
Seriously, honey, SO WHAT? They don't determine your salary. You don't have to live with them. You don't even have to stay here in the same name if you don't want to.
You really need to think about why you are letting the opinions of a bunch of strangers get you this upset. How you respond to what they say will have more effect on how they get along with you in the future than your original question or comment.
Things not to say: "Can't we all just get along?" Uh, no. "Isn't this a support board?" Yes, we will support your WW efforts. We won't necessarily tell you what you want to hear and some of us will sugarcoat it less than others.
See my other posts for my interpretation of what support is and isn't.
I actually do think it is smart to read posts and hang out and get the lay of the land before jumping in with both feet in your mouth. Each board has a personality of its own in the same way each class a teacher has develops its own persona. Whenever you have a group of individuals coalescing, you will have a new and different dynamic.
But let's say you have been reading the posts, you learned how to use the search button, you never, ever type the word save all by itself in a post, you've read the sites recommended by Cyndi, and one late night after a few drinks, you decide to post. You were tired, you were drinking, and sure enough, 20 people in the same boat jump all down your stuff within 2 minutes of your post.
Seriously, honey, SO WHAT? They don't determine your salary. You don't have to live with them. You don't even have to stay here in the same name if you don't want to.
You really need to think about why you are letting the opinions of a bunch of strangers get you this upset. How you respond to what they say will have more effect on how they get along with you in the future than your original question or comment.
Things not to say: "Can't we all just get along?" Uh, no. "Isn't this a support board?" Yes, we will support your WW efforts. We won't necessarily tell you what you want to hear and some of us will sugarcoat it less than others.
See my other posts for my interpretation of what support is and isn't.
My views on WW "newbies"
I teleported this from the WW 50+ Board. If nothing else, it will make it easier for me to find the next time it's needed.
I don't have ANYthing against people who are new to the WW boards. I welcome you. I do have a problem with people who don't read the literature, who ask points questions so they won't have to pay for WW, and who refuse to learn to use things like the search button or Google and want me to do it for them, and with people who come to a WW board expecting support for things like Hoodia and Weight Loss Surgery.
I also have a problem with people who tell me how to behave (and expect me to actually listen to them), whether they are new or old.
Support means just that. It means telling you that you really do have to follow the plan if you want it to work. It means telling you to get help when you say you are only eating 5 points a day. It means caring enough to say so when you are being self destructive, and teaching you to fish for yourself instead of fishing for you. It doesn't mean agreeing with everything everybody says. It doesn't mean condoning crass stupidity. It doesn't mean everybody is nice to everybody else and we all get along. If that's what you are looking for, maybe you ARE in the wrong place.
Honestly, we will applaud your successes, help you figure out what's going wrong if it's not working, and encourage you when you get discouraged. We will not sugar coat things and sometimes we won't tell you what you obviously want to hear, that you don't have to drink all your water, that you don't really, really need to exercise, that it's okay to skip your healthy oils because you want to eat ice cream instead.
If you want someone to tell you to use Hoodia or how well they did on a different weight loss program, you are probably on the wrong board. We are WW believers here. We KNOW it works, that it's for life, that if it's not working, it's probably something you are doing, or not doing, or you need to see a doctor. Stick with us and you CAN do this. (Oh, WW people, do I get my free month now?)
I don't have ANYthing against people who are new to the WW boards. I welcome you. I do have a problem with people who don't read the literature, who ask points questions so they won't have to pay for WW, and who refuse to learn to use things like the search button or Google and want me to do it for them, and with people who come to a WW board expecting support for things like Hoodia and Weight Loss Surgery.
I also have a problem with people who tell me how to behave (and expect me to actually listen to them), whether they are new or old.
Support means just that. It means telling you that you really do have to follow the plan if you want it to work. It means telling you to get help when you say you are only eating 5 points a day. It means caring enough to say so when you are being self destructive, and teaching you to fish for yourself instead of fishing for you. It doesn't mean agreeing with everything everybody says. It doesn't mean condoning crass stupidity. It doesn't mean everybody is nice to everybody else and we all get along. If that's what you are looking for, maybe you ARE in the wrong place.
Honestly, we will applaud your successes, help you figure out what's going wrong if it's not working, and encourage you when you get discouraged. We will not sugar coat things and sometimes we won't tell you what you obviously want to hear, that you don't have to drink all your water, that you don't really, really need to exercise, that it's okay to skip your healthy oils because you want to eat ice cream instead.
If you want someone to tell you to use Hoodia or how well they did on a different weight loss program, you are probably on the wrong board. We are WW believers here. We KNOW it works, that it's for life, that if it's not working, it's probably something you are doing, or not doing, or you need to see a doctor. Stick with us and you CAN do this. (Oh, WW people, do I get my free month now?)
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